"Confessions of a Food Addict" Part 2.
Super-Bowl Sunday not only reminds me of football, but a party that goes with it. Some friends from church graciously invited us to come over for game and food/fellowship....hard to turn down. :-) As soon as I walked in the door, chips and freshly made bean dip caught me eye! Yummm, I had to have more! Add to it, other chips and dip and veggies and dip, Lil smokies, chicken wings, deviled eggs, and goodies........all before BBQ tri-tip dinner, beans rice, etc. I must have gained 5 pounds by half-time! Oh, and can't resist yummy pie, I hid from hubby so he wouldn't see I was eating a second piece, doubt he ever saw the first piece. (Hiding and shame come with food addict behavior). Today, I feel guilty, ashamed, depressed, in my cave......To soothe my aching soul, I took myself to lunch and indulged in yet another meal to satisfy my fleshly craving for something good to eat.....But I only feel worse.
Thought writing and confessing would make me feel better. Thought I would take a walk yet I can think of a thousand excuses not to. Thinking about going to my OA meeting tonight....but maybe not, I'm tired. Another excuse. Pep talking my way to lose weight doesn't cut it. Emotions are fickle and I usually side for the easy way out. It's not my friend's fault that I binged yesterday......it's my fault for not exercising self-control and making a choice to not eat things aren;t good for me or an amount that wasn't too much for me. I take full responsibility.
Good think I don't drink alcohol or I'd be an alcoholic.....or take drugs, I'd be a drug addict. Simple truth, I love food, and I am a food addict. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. I have proven this over and over and over. This is my battle and no one can fight it for me. Therefore, I feel alone, but know that I am not alone. Can anybody relate?
